The Donation Disruption
by TerribleWaitress
Summary: "My wife kept trying to have sex with me," is not a complaint Leonard Hofstadter was ever likely to make - and yet, he did.


**A/N - Just had to write this after seeing the Donation Oscillation a few weeks ago. I wanted to see where things went that meant Leonard had to spend the night at Shamy's! I kind of wrote as it went rather than planned it (apart from the 'make it about me' part which was inspired by Joey's fruit basket girlfriend in Friends when he is supposed to be... saving up for a donation). A gentle M. Have a good week everybody! **

* * *

"Bam. Pow. Take that, Batman."

Leonard mentally counted down from five Mississippily. This wasn't going to be easy. He knew exactly what Penny was trying to do, and in most other circumstances he would happily go along. Often he would turn the tables, pretending her plan wasn't working - that was always a fun game, and one he had perfected over the years after he'd gotten over his fear of daring to even pretend to reject her advances.

But this wasn't one of those days. He was supposed to be abstaining from sex until he made his donation. If he was going to follow through with his offer to Zack and Marissa, he was going to do it properly.

It did kill him a little to refuse sex from Penny, and he knew that sometimes that turned her on even more.

"Penny, stop," Leonard finally said, trying to ignore her breath as she spoke tickling his ear. Her free hand had snuck down the front of his t-shirt, her nails gently grazing his skin. "It's not going to work."

Smirking, Penny moved her lips to his neck. "Are you sure?"

"Yes... no... yes!" Leonard quickly jumped up from the bed. "Penny, I'm serious. We can't do this."

Penny raised her brows at him in slight surprise, hoping her deep breathing wasn't giving her away too much. She loved this game, despite knowing that Leonard really shouldn't be having sex. Pushing the guilt to the back of her mind, she planned her next move. She was determined. "Fine, I'll stop."

"Oh. Wait, really?"

"Yup," Penny shrugged, moving around to get under the covers and pulling them up so her lingerie was covered. "I'll just finish this comic book myself and go to sleep."

Raising a brow at her relaxed smile, he gave her a cautious "o-kay?" and watched her for a few seconds. Despite what she told everyone she did occasionally read comic books - even if it was because she'd finished reading all her magazines, so he deemed it safe to shed his pants and t-shirt and get into bed too.

For a while there was silence except for the turning of pages. Leonard managed to read a full chapter of his latest book, Penny's earlier attempts of seduction far from his mind as he followed the action on the pages. He didn't even register that it was taking Penny an abnormally long time to read the comic book. Some nights were like this - relaxing together, but separately.

"Okay, well, I'm going to sleep," Penny eventually said, putting the comic book down and getting comfortable under the covers. "You want me to leave my light on?"

"I've only got a couple pages of this chapter left then I'm going to bed, just my light will be fine."

"Mm'kay," Penny smiled sweetly as she leaned up slightly to kiss her husband goodnight. "Love you."

"Love you too," Leonard turned his attention away from his book with a smile to reciprocate Penny's goodnight kiss.

Turning around, Penny shut off her bedside light and lay with her back towards Leonard. She listened to him reading, something she always found oddly relaxing. For a while she contemplated fake snoring, but she wasn't sure if she fell asleep that quickly for snoring to be feasible yet.

Eventually she heard Leonard put down his book and remove his glasses. There was a pause in which she just knew he was looking at her before he finally turned off his own bedside light and settled under the covers. He lay on his side facing her, but by the amount of time it took him and the accidental brushes he gave her that he was trying to not be too close to her. Penny smirked to herself before biting her lip. She both loved and hated how fun this game was for her, and how easy it was to push the guilt to the back of her mind.

As she heard Leonard's breathing begin to slow, Penny groaned loudly and flung the sheets off her body as she sat up, but deliberately didn't move too much to make Leonard need to move.

"Who was I kidding," she sighed as she undid her bra, "sleeping in a bra is the worst."

Tossing her bra away, she wiggled herself back under the covers and lay down facing Leonard. With a contented hum, she lay her head close to his and moved her body close enough that her chest was just touching his arms that were in front of him. That way he could feel she was now completely bare chested, but just about. By the fluttering of his closed eyelids she could tell he was still awake and rapidly trying to work out if her actions were intentional or not.

Flinging a leg casually over Leonard's to pull herself closer, Penny let out a happy "mmm" as she took Leonard's hand and brought it to her waist.

No, that wasn't going to work. Penny moved his hand lower to her ass, the sorry excuse of a skirt having risen way up due to her position in the bed.

"Penny," Leonard mumbled, his brow furrowing.

"What?" Penny asked innocently, slightly rocking her hips against his thigh.

"You said you were going to stop."

"I did."

Leaning up slightly, Penny leaned in to gently push Leonard semi onto his back and kiss him. The leg she'd flung over him fell between his two legs so she was partially on him, and she readjusted herself slightly. Although her goal was to get Leonard on board, she now selfishly wanted something back.

For a while, Leonard did join in. He kissed her back and lazily moved one hand into her hair and eventually he gave in and moved the other to her breasts. When he felt her start gently grinding into his thigh, he expertly rolled them so she was on her back.

He couldn't tell from her face if she was still aware that her goal was to ruin his donation or if now she simply wanted sex. Sitting up, he rolled back to his side of the bed.

"Wh- Leonard!" Penny sat up slightly, leaning on her elbows. "What-"

"If you're not gonna stop, then I have to," Leonard said with a frown. "I'm sorry. I just can't... you know it could ruin the donation. And as... incredibly tempting as it is, I just keep picturing Zack and Marissa."

"Umm, excuse me?" Penny sat up fully at this, frowning. "I spent sixty bucks on lingerie and you're thinking of my ex boyfriend and his wife while I try to seduce you?"

"Aha! So you admit it, you're just trying to seduce me!" Leonard raised his brows as he got out of the bed, grabbing for his glasses as he shook his head. "And no, it's not like _that. _I'm just... I just want to do this properly for them. Could you please... cover yourself or something? You're supposed to be supporting me through this and you're making it really hard!"

"Well clearly I'm not making it hard at all!" Penny snapped and gestured at Leonard, before flinging herself back on the bed.

"Funnily enough picturing your ex boyfriend is not a turn on for me," Leonard snapped back. "Look, can we just go to sleep? Please?"

"Look mister, you may not be able to do anything on your end, but you're supposed to be a _genius _and when you make out with your wife in bed and play with her boobs and let her grind into you and just leave her hanging - _that's a freakin' turn on_!" Penny groaned.

"I've known you for twelve years. I know what turns my wife on."

Lifting her hips and pulling off the skirt and underwear of the lingerie set, Penny tossed it to the foot of the bed. She wished at least one of their bedside lights was on - it would really help her out. She was grasping at straws now, trying to get Leonard to have sex. "Then you should know what to do next."

"Penny - seriously - it's not going to work."

"Please?"

"No, Penny, come on. I'm sorry and I wish I could but I can't."

"Fine," Penny turned her head to look at Leonard properly as she spread her legs slightly. She knew that even in the dark he could make out that movement. "But you could at least... make this about me."

Leonard looked at his wife for a moment curiously before he started walking around to her side of the bed. Briefly Penny thought that perhaps she had won. In those few seconds she genuinely thought that he had given in and she was going to achieve _both _of her goals. He'd reach her side of the bed and lean down to kiss her and from there she had won.

"What are you doing?" Penny raised a brow as Leonard opened the drawer of her bedside table, rummaging around for something. "You know that is _not _where we keep the dirty stuff."

"I know," Leonard said, pausing with a grin as he finally found what he was looking for. "But I'm obviously not going to get any sleep if I stay here, and I _know _you won't get any sleep now unless you finish what _you _tried to start with me. So here," Leonard handed Penny her boxed vibrator and stood up. "Have fun. But save the lingerie for a couple days time when I can fully appreciate it and remove it myself."

"What - where are you going?"

"Amy and Sheldon's," Leonard said as he got re-dressed.

"Oh, Leonard, come on! That's not necessary! I'm sorry, look, I'll... I'll just go to sleep and not bother you."

"Can you really promise that nothing will happen?"

"Umm," Penny screwed up her face. She did feel guilty, and she knew this wasn't easy for Leonard, but she knew that deep down her attempts to sabotage his abstinence came from her unease with the situation they were getting themselves into.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Leonard came back round to Penny's side of the bed to give her another kiss. "Get some sleep, okay?"

Sighing, Penny gave Leonard a sad smile as they parted from their kiss. "Sorry. I hope you get some sleep on that couch."

"I'm small, it might be comfy-ish," Leonard chuckled as he reached the door. "I love you."

"I love you too," Penny gave him a small wave as he left, then groaned as the door closed. "You'd think having a husband meant your fancy vibrator could stay mint in box," she mumbled.

It wasn't that she didn't feel guilty about her attempts to ruin Leonard's donation, or that she didn't want to try explain to him why she was doing it. She knew that this was important to him and understood why he wanted to do it, and she wasn't going to take back what she had told him - he hadn't had a say when she said she didn't want kids, so she didn't need to have a say in this.

But she felt like maybe she did want to have a say, even if she shouldn't. She wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of Leonard being the biological father of someone else's child. And she wasn't sure that Leonard had really grasped that just because that child would biologically be his, it would not actually make him a father.

Surely, if Leonard was going to create any kind of biological child, it should be with her - his wife? She knew she didn't want kids and that Leonard respected her decision - and was much more open and accepting of this situation than she was with his. But it just felt like that was what it should be.

Maybe they needed to have another conversation. She didn't know how, but she needed to at least tell him how she felt about this. Terrifying though it may be, he deserved her honesty.

Looking at the vibrator in her hand, Penny twisted her lips in thought. It was strange to feel sexually rejected by your own husband. Although she knew it wasn't because he didn't _want _to have sex with her, it still felt a little hurtful. It was her own fault but it was an odd experience. Penny had always thought that the passion of sex eventually faded, but over the past few years they had really gotten comfortable with things - from the canvas and paints Leonard had got them for Valentines Day, to Star Trek fantasies and whatever flavors and sensations tickled their fancies. The Star Trek uniforms had seemed weird at first but Penny had to admit Leonard looked great in uniform and it was exciting to see where their characters took them. Now here she was, dressed down with nowhere to go.

With those thoughts, Penny decided some things don't need to stay mint in box after all. Leonard _had _told her to have fun, after all.


End file.
